How I Got Cholera

The Chhicken Maharaja Mac is only 135Rps but the
consequences are 2 weeks of sloppy ploppies.

It's a nasty parasite. It happens when you eat something washed with contaminated water. I think I know where I got it from. It take millions of parasites. They all fall into your stomach and nearly all of them die. A tiny percentage of the population survive by going into a hibernation mode and shutting down the production of all proteins. Those few that live get dumped into your small intestines where they feel an atmospheric change. A good change. They come out of hibernation and begin torpedoing through the mucus lining of your intestinal walls. They are shaped like little drill bits. They drill into the wall and attach themselves there fully producing the proteins that will soon wreak havoc on your body. They pump chlorine ions into your digestive tract which then bond with sodium ions to make salt. Now your have a tiny concentration of salt in your intestines and water, through osmosis, begins to be leeched out of you. Up to 10 liters of water each day! The water builds up so quickly that you must go to the bathroom several times per hour. It smells terrible and there is no cure except time. You MUST keep your self hydrated by drinking salt water.

Look how happy those prices are!

Salt water counteracts the salty concentration in your intestines. When you already pour salt water into your intestines then it becomes hard for the parasites to pump more chlorine in. The common recipe for hydration is 1 liter of boiled water, half a teaspoon salt, six teaspoons sugar and a banana. It spreads when your toilet water goes into the water supply (as it almost always does in India) and the Cholera has a chance to multiply underground.

Ronald McDonald is a creepy clown who gives
children lifelong fears.

So there I was at McDonalds actually for once in my life looking forward to the horrible food they served. It was something different than the food they served in the canteen. Mark and I ordered the Maharaja Mac (the Indian Big Mac). The lettuce is where I'm nearly positive I got the Cholera. They must have washed it in tap water. Mark was lucky and none made it through his stomach acid. Perhaps it was because I drank too much water and diluted my stomach acid.

Anyway the effect was almost immediate. On the car ride home from Pune (I had just picked up my laptop from the Pune Airport) my stomach told me something was wrong. The symptoms were textbook perfect. I got a fever on night two after McDonalds and I had stopped drinking water. The next day I could barely function. I was shivering and sweating and light headed. I felt like I had very low blood sugar.

The damn things made us so happy. It was probably worth it.
At least now I can look back and laugh.

Perhaps around day five after McDonalds I found the insight to google my symptoms. And that's when I found out I had Cholera, one of the big causes of death in poor countries. Almost as soon as I read about it and started taking salt in my water I felt a noticeable improvement. After about six days I was on track again and somewhat healthy. The food was still terrible and I was beginning to feel malnourished. I didn't take any pictures while I was sick, I couldn't find the strength.